Day 3: Learning to Love Yourself the Way God Loves You

Before we continue with this challenge, I want to clarify what I mean by loving yourself.   If the phrase “self-love” makes you slightly uncomfortable, you’re not alone. For many of us, it can sound selfish, indulgent, or even spiritually wrong. And honestly, that makes sense, because many of us have only seen unhealthy, distorted versions of it.   Sometimes what is called self-love is actually narcissism. It looks like self-obsession, self-protection at all costs, being unwilling to receive correction, or constantly putting our own needs above everyone else. That kind of self-focus leaves people isolated, defensive, and disconnected. That is not the kind of self-love we are moving toward in this challenge.   The self-love we are pursuing is shaped by God. It is grounded in truth, humility, and security. It doesn’t inflate your ego, and it doesn’t diminish your worth. It allows you to live from the steady confidence of knowing who you are and whose you are.   So let’s start with how God defines love.   In 1 Corinthians 13:4–8, we’re told that love is patient and kind. It keeps no record of wrongs. It rejoices in the truth. It does not envy, boast, or act proudly. It is not self-seeking. It always protects, hopes, and perseveres.   This isn’t just a description of how we should love others. Jesus said the greatest commandments are to love God and love our neighbor as ourselves. That means the same love God calls us to extend outward should also shape how we treat our own hearts.   In 1 John 3:16, we see what love looks like through Jesus. He laid down His life for us. And in Philippians 2, we’re reminded that love is humble. It doesn’t try to prove itself. It isn’t driven by ego. It is grounded, secure, and other-focused.   So biblical self-love is not self-obsession. And it’s not self-rejection either. It’s humility rooted in truth.   It’s believing that God created you on purpose, with intention and care. It’s recognizing that you are not better than anyone else, but you are also not less than anyone else. You are someone made in His image. Loving yourself means agreeing with God about your worth.   It means being patient with yourself.
It means speaking kindly to yourself.
It means refusing to keep a running list of your past mistakes.
It means choosing truth over the accusations that try to define you.   Brennan Manning wrote in Abba’s Child that many of us live disconnected from our true identity as God’s beloved. We live as if we have something to prove, something to fix, or something to earn. But your worth was never something you had to achieve. It was given to you the moment God created you.   Let’s pause and gently check in today:   Are you patient and kind with yourself?
Do you keep a record of your wrongs?
Are you listening to lies or speaking truth over your life?   Now take a quiet moment and read each line out loud, placing your own name where the blank is. Let yourself hear it personally.   For example: “Michelle is patient and kind.”
“Michelle keeps no record of wrongs.”
“Michelle rejoices with the truth.”
“Michelle does not act proudly.”
“Michelle always hopes and perseveres.”   This is the kind of love God invites you to receive and live from. It doesn’t puff you up, and it doesn’t tear you down. It grounds you. It allows you to move through your life with confidence and humility, secure in the truth of who God created you to be.  

Reflection:

1 Corinthians 13 says love keeps no record of wrongs.

Take five minutes and write down one mistake you still haven't really let go of.

Then ask yourself: Has God already forgiven this?

If the answer is yes (which it is) then rip it up and throw it away

You can even pray: “Lord, if You are not holding this against me, I don’t want to keep holding it against myself. Please help me to release this mistake so it no longer brings me down."

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