Lesson

Spiritual Health

 

Joy Always

People often interchange the words “joy” and “happiness,” but they are actually quite different. Happiness is based on our circumstances. Things, situations, and people can make us happy or unhappy.

 

Joy, on the other hand, is more lasting. I like how Rick Warren describes it: “Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be alright, and the determined choice to praise God in every situation.”

 

Joy is not based on war,m fuzzy feelings of happiness. It’s a much more settled and consistent feeling. Joy is not affected by what is outside us; it comes from our hearts.

 

“The Apostle Paul had a strong and steady underlying consistency to his life. Consequently, he could let his external life change without internal distress because he was rooted and grounded in God.” (from My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers)

 

The “strong and steady underlying consistency” mentioned above refers to Paul’s relationship with God. He was so filled with God’s Spirit that the outside world couldn’t take away his peace and joy.

 

Imagine if you could live like that. Imagine being peaceful through it all. Imagine feeling joy through it all. Imagine that, even when life around you is falling apart, you still have joy. This only happens when we fully trust God. Only when we know how much He loves us, and only when we believe He is with us, can we have peace and joy, even when everything around us seems to be tumbling down.

 

I know this is possible because it just happened to me.

 

My mom was scheduled for major back surgery. She was 84 years old, so, of course, there were some risks involved with the surgery. This was my mom’s fourth back surgery, and I had been there with her for the first three. I felt I needed to be there. I knew how her body responded after surgery. I knew what to tell the nurses. I planned on being there; my ticket to Florida was already bought.

 

As I was getting ready to leave for my mom’s surgery, my son, Neal, was having issues with his health. He had been diagnosed with ulcerative colitis a year prior, but something was going really wrong. He hadn’t been able to keep food inside of him for a few weeks, and it was getting worse.

 

The day before I was to fly out for my mom’s surgery, I was concerned that Neal was going to be admitted to the hospital. I felt I couldn’t leave to be with my mom because my son needed me.

 

Before I continue, I need to back up about seven years to my mom’s first back surgery. About three weeks before her surgery, during my prayer time, I mentioned to God how cool it would be if my mom’s favorite verse was emailed out by K-Love as their verse for the day on the day of her surgery (I receive a daily verse from K-Love radio station). I wasn’t saying this to test God. Honestly, I really didn’t know why I even mentioned this to Him.

 

I woke up the morning of her surgery, not even thinking about my prayer weeks earlier, but God had obviously remembered it. I checked my email that morning before we headed to the hospital, and what do you think came in? Yep, K-Love’s verse that day was my mom’s favorite, Psalm 118:24: “This is the day the LORD has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.”

 

When I saw the verse, I remembered my prayer weeks earlier and I had this overwhelming feeling of God’s presence. I knew He was so close. I ran into my mom’s room, saying, “He’s got this. He’s with us!!”

 

During her eight-hour surgery, I was at peace. Of course, I wanted my mom to live, but I felt so certain of God’s presence that I was OK if He chose to bring her home to Him that day. My mom’s surgery didn’t heal her back the way we had hoped, but we never doubted that God was there, comforting us through it all.

 

So now, back to my mom’s recent surgery. I so wanted to be there and felt it was critical that I be there to make sure everything was done properly. My sister Nicole also wanted to be there, but couldn’t get there until a few days after her surgery. As my mom was wheeled into surgery, she met the two nurses who would be with her in the operating room. Their names? Michelle and Nicole.

 

When I was told this amazing news, I had, once again, this amazing feeling of peace. God was with her. I thought it was so important for me to be there, but God reminded me that, much more importantly, He was there. While my mom was being operated on, I took Neal to the hospital for more tests, to another doctor’s appointment, and then back to the hospital.

 

It was so crazy; I wasn’t worried about any of it. I’m serious - it wasn’t just that I wasn’t worried; I was actually filled with JOY. I couldn’t believe that God, who sits on His throne, overseeing the whole world, was so personally involved in my life. He knew that when I heard the names of the nurses, I would be flooded with the feeling of His presence. He loves me so much that He wants me to have peace and even joy.

 

This same God loves you, too!! He wants to bring you peace and joy in all situations. When we think about how huge God is and all He does to care for us, doesn’t it seem silly to turn to food or other things for comfort, peace, and joy?

 

Like Paul, we can have a strong and steady underlying consistency in our lives. Our external lives can change without affecting our internal peace because we are rooted and grounded in God.

 

We know stress is bad for our physical health. Peace is the antidote to stress. Even if we do the greatest exercise routines daily and eat the cleanest, healthiest food, we can still be unhealthy if we allow the outside world to cause us to be stressed. Only when we consistently connect with God, wanting to know Him more and more, will we be able to experience peace and joy always.

 

Stress and worry are the biggest joy-stealers. If we want to minimize stress and worry, we need to trust God. If we want to trust God, we need to come to know Him better. Many of us worry because it gives us the illusion of control. We need to think of all that could go wrong and make sure none of it happens. If something does happen, we need to be prepared to fix it. This rationale shows a lack of trust in God. It shows we doubt that He is capable of handling it, so we think we need to take control.

 

I am one who has to consistently work to let go of control. I am a “get-it-done” type of person. Only through realizing that I actually have very little control, and by learning to trust God, have I been able to relinquish worry.

 

A sermon I heard years ago also helped me see how useless my worry was, and it freed me up to experience joy always (well, almost always). My pastor said that 75% of the things we worry about never happen, and 75% of the things we worry about are completely out of our control. (I might be slightly off on the % amounts.) I remember that as his sermon continued, I became determined to work at giving ALL my worries to Him. (1 Peter 5:7)

 

I love this Mark Twain quote.

“I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”

 

I’m not saying I sit and do nothing when life gets challenging, but my hope is to move only where I feel He is directing me. I try to do my part and trust God with the rest.

 

If worry is zapping the joy out of your life, please memorize these verses from the book of Luke: “Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And if worry can't accomplish a little thing like that, what's the use of worrying over bigger things?” (Luke 12:25-26)

 

A great book on joy is The Joy Model: A Step-by-Step Guide to Peace, Purpose, and Balance. The book gives you practical steps to build into your daily routine so you can experience Joy Always! (My husband, Jeff Spadafora, is the author of this great book that was released through Thomas Nelson Publishers)

   

Physical Health

 

Entertaining and Evangelism

One of my favorite ways to spend an evening is sharing a meal with family and friends. So many of my greatest conversations have been over a meal in my home, or in someone else’s. When you are in a home it seems more intimate and personal. You feel more freedom to talk about the real issues, the things that really matter.

 

I am so thankful that I love to cook and that it doesn’t stress me out. I know that is not the case for a lot of you. I hear my friends talk about the anxiety they feel when having people over. If you are one that stresses about entertainment, here is my first piece of advice – it doesn’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to have a perfectly set table, a gourmet menu plan, and a spotless house - really, you don’t.

 

Maybe this will help: When you go to someone’s home and everything isn’t perfect, how does it make you feel? For me, I am so glad they didn’t feel like everything needed to be perfect in order to have me over. It also reminds me that my home, my meals, and everything else don’t have to be perfect either.

 

Another way to make entertaining more enjoyable is to enlist the help of others. If you still have children at home (who are old enough to help), ask them to pitch in. They can set the table or help you do some of the dicing and chopping. I find that cooking together can be a great time to catch up with my kids. It’s also a great hands-on way to teach them about health and nutrition.

 

My husband is a big help when we have people over. He’s not one to plan the menu, but he always helps out. He’s great on the grill, so my menu often includes something done on the grill. This spreads the workload out and frees up my oven. Guys seem to love to hang out around the grill, so I’m actually helping him connect with others! Another way my husband helps is by lighting candles or adjusting the lights to set the mood.

 

I also almost always ask people to bring a dish. I ask someone to do an appetizer, salad, or dessert. I even let them help clean up the dishes! (Love to cook, hate to clean.) When I go to someone else’s home, I offer to bring something to ease their load.

 

Another way to make entertaining less stressful is to choose a menu that includes dishes that are simple to prepare. I usually pick one or two things that are a bit more involved and exciting and keep the rest simple. Here is one of my favorite meals to prepare:

 

• Appetizer: Fresh vegetables with hummus, cheese platter with grapes, sliced apple, and pears (basic, but everyone loves it, especially with unique cheeses. Squeeze some lemon juice on the apples and pears if you don’t want them to brown.)
• Vegetable: Roasted asparagus: Preheat oven to 375°, cut off the bottom ¼ of the asparagus stems, and discard. Drizzle with olive oil and sprinkle with salt; cook for about 20 minutes.
• Side: Rice with lime and cilantro (I have a rice cooker, which makes cooking rice so simple): Just cook your favorite rice, and after it is cooked, stir in some fresh lime juice and chopped cilantro.
• Entrée: Grilled chicken with red pepper sauce: My husband grills the meat, and I make the sauce in advance. The recipe for this sauce is in our online cookbook.
• Dessert: Dark chocolate: Quite often, I don’t serve dessert, but if I really want to shock my friends, I serve some dark chocolate. It’s fun to get some good quality dark chocolate (I love it with dried cherries or orange peel), break it into SMALL squares, put it on a fancy platter, and pass it around.

 

Entertaining doesn’t have to be stressful. Much more important than a perfect meal and clean house is being able to sit and fully engage in the conversation. Your dinner guests will most likely be more moved by the conversation than by the menu. Let them know you care about them and are interested in what they have to say.

 

A few years back, my husband and I started something called “Cabernet and Conversation.” Before the guests arrive, my husband and I pray over some questions we can ask during dinner. Of course, we love to see people engaging in personal conversations when they first arrive, but when we have everyone sit for dinner, we get everyone’s attention and we share with them 2 different questions. We let them know they don’t have to answer, but if they want, they can share their thoughts on one of the questions. We typically have anywhere from 4-8 couples over so we suggest that everyone limit their answers to no more than 5 minutes.

 

Our hope is to come up with questions that people, no matter where they are in their faith walk, can participate in. Here are some questions we’ve asked in the past:

 

• What is the most significant thing that happened in your life in the last 3 months?
• What’s the best thing about your life right now?
• If money weren’t an issue, what would you do with your days?
• Name one great joy and one great sorrow you’ve experienced lately?
• How do you think you are uniquely gifted, and how can you (or have you) use that gift to help others?
• What makes you come alive?
• What is something you want to do more of, or less of, in your daily life?
• What’s the biggest challenge you are facing that you need some help with?
• If you had unlimited resources, what would you most want to do with them?

 

When we invite people over, we make a point of looking outside our close Christian community. Our hope is to get a great mix of people: some who have already decided to follow Jesus, others who are still searching for truth and sometimes those who have different beliefs than we do.

 

I am always moved by our conversations and am so excited to see God at work around our dining room table.

 

I remember one night when we had a wonderful couple at our table who did not believe the Bible was truth. As we took turns answering the questions, our stories showed them the joy we had because of our faith.

 

They could hear how God helped us through challenges. As the conversation was drawing to a close, the man said, “Even though I don’t share your same beliefs, I really wish I could have what you have.” He didn’t come to accept Jesus that night, but he was moved to tears while I prayed for him. I don’t think they had ever been part of a conversation that shared how God changes lives.

 

So, invite someone over to share a meal. Ask meaningful questions. Remember, your house and your meal don’t need to be perfect. The more relaxed and engaged you are, the more enjoyable the evening will be.

   

Inspirational Story #4: Eileen

 

In 2010, a friend invited me to do Faithful Workouts with her. At first, the faith piece seemed a bit weird as I didn’t understand how physical health tied into faith. As time went on, my life became more balanced with exercising, eating well, spending quality workout time with friends, listening to good Christian music, and Michelle’s messages are just so inspiring. It started becoming my favorite hour of each day, and I wouldn’t even think of missing a workout. I liked feeling energized both physically and spiritually.

 

My family noticed the positive changes in me. Today, I am thrilled to say that my marriage, parenting, and whole life have changed. It’s also having a positive ripple effect on my family… and it’s so amazing to witness.

 

Thank you, Faithful Workout,s for modeling what a balanced Christian life is all about.

~Eileen